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2019 Mixtape

by MOTHBOY

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  • Full Digital Discography

    6
    releases

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    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Phantom Pt.3, Phantom Pt.2, Phantom Pt.1, Awful, Homesickly, and 2019 Mixtape. , and , .

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1.
Hanger 03:22
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I bruise like a peach flushed out in the cheeks embarrassed to speak when all my words aim for the sweet spot red streaks on the flat of my chest caved in when i gave it my best i don't even wanna invest any time in myself so i'll pass on the torch When i see my reflection i don't see myself, just a ghostly projection that's screaming for help afraid of rejection and left on the shelf, collecting dust I had an existential nightmare where i met my doppelganger i told him you can have life now and then he left my body on a hanger just leave my body on a hanger just leave my body on a hanger I don't wanna find out that i'm better off dead that the words i wrote are never gonna be read i guess i'll fade into the claustrophobic, paranoid part of my head cold feet at the end of my bed kiss me on the top of my head feed me all the bullshit you fed to the world when they asked if you know who you are when i see my reflection i don't see myself, just a ghostly reflection that's screaming for help afraid of rejection and left on the shelf, collecting dust I had an existential nightmare where i met my doppelganger i told him you can have life now and then he left my body on a hanger just leave my body on a hanger just leave my body on a hanger (x2)
2.
Bedroom Floor (feat. Trent Hollingsworth, ghstgrl) 02:54
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if all i ever was was tallies on the bedroom floor i would never see the day that i could see my family happy that I'm still alive, 'cause i'm still alive. and i may not appreciate that i am every single day but, i gotta admit i hate the idea that i'll never be okay [*ghstgrl] yeah, i really thought i would be stronger yeah, but i can't wait here any longer yeah, i just want that safe place nevermind, save face, yeah if all i ever was was tallies on the bedroom floor i would never see the day that i'd be happy that i'm still alive i'm still alive, i'm still alive [*Trent Hollingsworth] i swear to god i see the devil in my eyes i breathe air into my lungs i scream bloody murder* i swear to god i see the devil in my eyes i breath air into my lungs i scream bloody murder if all i ever was was tallies on the bedroom floor i would never see the day that i could see my family happy if all i ever was was tallies on the bedroom floor i would never see the day that i'd be happy that i'm still alive i'm still alive, i'm still alive i'm glad i went back and scratched out those marks in the bedroom floor. ('cause i'm still alive)
3.
SMFM (feat. Trent Hollingsworth) 03:55
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save me from myself, corrosive mental health please don't let me burn these bridges that i built to isolate there's not much i have left to fight against the hands that wanna choke me out Save me from myself, corrosive mental health please don't let me burn these bridges that i built to isolate there's not much i have left to fight against the hands that wanna choke me out you don't even switch these sides you don't even wanna peep these eyes i don't wanna be the one to hide in the loneliest place in the back of my mind you don't even wanna beat these odds i don't need a fucking wish from god i just wanna be alone right now, but i don't wanna be on my own at the same time ... *Trent Hollingsworth* Cause i can't sleep alone now, no but i'm always on my own now, no i can feel it shake my bones now, yeah, yeah cause i'll always say that i'm okay even though i know i'm just a fake take a deep breath, calm down, get my head straight, yeah, i don't want a breakdown ** Maybe i question myself too much always looking for answers when i don't even need them (oh) i've been so out of control, i don't even know what day it is most days Save me from myself, corrosive mental health please don't let me burn these bridges that i built to isolate there's not much i have left to fight against the hands that wanna choke me out Save me from myself, corrosive mental health please don't let me burn these bridges that i built to isolate there's not much i have left to fight against the hands that wanna choke me out you don't even switch these sides you don't even wanna peep these eyes i don't wanna be the one to hide in the loneliest place in the back of my mind you don't even wanna beat these odds i don't need a fucking wish from god i just wanna be alone right now, but i don't wanna be on my own at the same time.
4.
Upset 02:26
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Quick question, why did you question All of my motives? I promise that they were sincere. Don't mention My lack of retention Of details and reasons for why I'm upset, and I don't know why I regret leaving you tonight But don't sweat I just need to walk it off I'll be home before you wake up I'm upset. Wish that I could come to my senses How can I carry on defenseless? Who would I be if I gave in? Wish that I could come to my senses How can I carry on defenseless? Who would I be if I gave in? I'm upset, and I don't know why I regret leaving you tonight But don't sweat I just need to walk it off I'll be home before you wake up I'm upset.
5.
Afterglow 02:52
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Gave up on being in control burnt out, will you be my afterglow? I venture out into the cold give me your warmth before i go On an empty road drive through the snow under cover of night on my own streetlights adding weight onto my heavy eyes fade into sleep from the halogen lights Gave up on being in control burnt out, will you be my afterglow? I venture out into the cold give me your warmth before i go Will you be my afterglow? will you be my afterglow? Will you be my afterglow? will you be my afterglow? Gave up on being in control burnt out, will you be my afterglow? I venture out into the cold give me your warmth before i go Gave up on being in control (afterglow) burnt out, will you be my afterglow? (afterglow) I venture out into the cold (afterglow) give me your warmth before i go (afterglow) Will you be my afterglow? will you be my afterglow
6.
Spinning 02:52
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I'm so dizzy Seeing spots inside my head So damn lazy With your head down on my chest I dont really give a fuck if i don't go out Maybe im a little taken back by the cold Seven days down and im back on my bullshit I see the vultures circling Am I worthy of love? Am I worthy of love? I keep questioning myself Am I worthy of love? Am I worthy of love? Am I worthy of love? I keep questioning myself Am I worthy? Leave me on my own I'm coming up empty I'm coming up empty Tried to let you go But who am I kidding You left me spinning Yeah I know you're listening to all my shit You're probably listening to this right now In your car or in your bed With the iphone earbuds on I want to let you know I'm not doing well I feel like I'm so fucking lost And I'm afraid that I might lose I feel the vultures might start picking Am I worthy of love? Am I worthy of love? I keep questioning myself Am I worthy of love? Am I worthy of love? Am I worthy of love? I keep questioning myself Am I worthy? Leave me on my own Leave me on my own I'm coming up empty I'm coming up empty Tried to let you go But who am I kidding You left me spinning Leave me on my own I'm coming up empty I'm coming up empty
7.
Goddamn 02:58
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goddamn, goddamn (you're always on my mind) goddamn, goddamn (you're my one of a kind) goddamn, goddamn (you save me from myself) goddamn, goddamn goddamn you're a higher power bathe in your light like a winter flower pick up my pedals and help me recover you are my photosynthesis goddamn you're a deity they speak to you when they pray for me your shape has me on my knees i think the devil might pray on me the darker hue always seems to happen i feels so blue like i'm dr.manhattan wanna escape to another planet i'm done with this shit down here, goddamnit pull me away from the moment show me a way to appreciate the things that i love that i've grown to hate the things that i love that i've grown to hate goddamn, goddamn (you're always on my mind) goddamn, goddamn (you're my one of a kind) goddamn, goddamn (you save me from myself) goddamn, goddamn
8.
Serendipity 02:17
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It's midnight, and i'm the only soul on this road halogen streetlight flow i'm a million miles from home (dawn, dawn, dawn) dawnlight, painting the skyline blue serendipity how did the time slip through my fingers? how did the time slip through my fingers? thought i kept track, thought it could linger taking it back to minimal emotion i've been on my own from ocean to ocean fight this fear of impending failure choke back tears at cathartic silence fucked up times, fail fast, rock bottom pick yourself back up again i see my breath from the chill in the air slow motion the snow falls i can't help but stare mesmerized by something gentle and calm watch as the time melts away in my palm. It's midnight, and i'm the only soul on this road halogen streetlight flow i'm a million miles from home (dawn, dawn, dawn) dawnlight, painting the skyline blue serendipity how did the time slip through my fingers?

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Collection singles of 2019

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released September 12, 2020

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MOTHBOY Peterborough, Ontario

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